There’s just so much on my mind tonight.
Everyday, I’m constantly in this mindset of, “he/she hates me.” I don’t know where the feeling comes from, but I’m pretty sure it is an effect of past experiences growing up. I’ve always felt like people didn’t like me or an unnecessary feeling that I did something to make somebody angry or mad or whatever. I don’t think people realize how much their reactions to me have an effect on my self esteem. Like being ignored. dang, I hate that. THE worst feeling ever. There are people in choir that make me feel like this. And I’m not blaming them. I think it’s mostly a personal problem I need to handle myself. It’s just I let them get to me, and ugh. There are people in choir that honestly, make me feel like shit. Sorry to say that. Just there are things that just kill my self esteem and I just feel so low & judged when I’m in the choir room sometimes. Actually, I think most of the time. I know it’s kind of late in the year to complain about this. It’s a venting kind of night.